Wexistential Crises, Wayward Thoughts, Welcome Distractions and Willful Pursuits

On Relationships

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“There seems to be a lot of unhappiness associated with being single, but I want to know what make you *happy* you’re single? Whether it’s the fact that you can have casual sex with your best friend or you can drink straight out of the milk carton…we want to know what are the happy things about being single?

“Being single is GREAT! I’m completely independent and this means I have no one else to answer to, or to feel like I have to answer to. Anything I do in regards to my personal appearance, I do for *me* and because it’s what I want to do or wear. I pick the movies I watch, I pick the music I listen to in my car…it’s all about ME! No fighting over a remote control, because I’m pretty sure the cat doesn’t care what we watch. Being single is incredible. I’ve learned so much about myself, and what I like and don’t like. I don’t do something just because someone else likes it, I do it because it’s something I like to do. I go out to bars with my friends and just have a good time – sometimes I don’t even put on make-up before I go out! I don’t need to impress anyone. I don’t care if I impress anyone. Today I didn’t bother to change out of my pajamas because I wasn’t leaving my house.” [Link]

There are many good reasons to remain single. Defiance of good grooming and personal hygiene is not among them.

Relationships are not always easy, but there’s certainly more to them than who gets dominion over the remote control.

Relationships aren’t about spending every waking moment together. They’re not about “answering” to your partner or “impressing” anyone. If you feel like you can’t be yourself and you’re losing your identity, if you feel like you don’t have time for yourself or for your friends or for the things you want to do, then that means there’s something wrong with your relationship in particular, not with relationships in general.

Relationships work best between mature, emotionally stable people. People who don’t make irrational demands of their partners or have unrealistic expectations. People who respect each other’s space and who recognize that while they have a life together, they also have friends, interests, activities etc. independent of each other.

In healthy relationships, people are individuals, not just parts of a couple. You are not someone’s “better half.” You are whole. You are your own person. Your life and your happiness derive their meaning from you, not from your partner or anyone else.

Relationships are supposed to facilitate self-discovery and personal growth, not stifle them. Your partner is there to support you and encourage you to pursue things that will make you a better person, not to tell you what you can and cannot do.

Relationships are learning experiences. Patience, compromise, and effective communication are some important things that my relationships have taught me.

Relationships, at their core, are friendships. They’re about accepting and appreciating someone for who they are. They’re about listening without passing judgement. They’re about telling someone what they need to hear, even when it’s not what they want to hear. They’re about trust. They’re about accommodating someone’s quirks and eccentricities, because you know that they’re not really crazy. They’re about being able to talk about everything and nothing. They’re about taking pleasure in doing simple things together. Relationships work best when your lover is also your best friend.


Written by Aissa

November 23, 2007 at 5:11 pm

Posted in relationships

Tagged with ,

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