Wexistence

Dear Representatives Tieng and Velarde,

A bill that criminalizes sex toys? Seriously? What’s next, a bill that bans orgasms? Please don’t deny everyone else the sexual pleasure you are incapable of enjoying because of your puritanical beliefs.

I don’t know how you could possibly enforce a law that defines sex toys as any device that “can be used to stimulate human genitals,” “could trigger sexually impure ideas” or “can give room to sex-related offenses”. Human beings are both horny and incredibly creative and will continue to find sexual functions for everything, and I mean everything. From phallus-shaped fruits and vegetables to common household items to random things for which you cannot, for the life of you, fathom an erotic application. In aid of legislation, may I submit for your consideration: isthisasextoy.tumblr.com.

Conservatives love to talk about colonial mentality and how loose sexual morality is the product of western values eroding our own traditional Filipino values. Actually, this prudishness about sex is the Western influence and what we deem immoral sexual behavior was the norm in these isles before the western powers colonized us. The Spaniards were shocked by the sexual freedom of the natives. Pre-marital sex, multiple sexual partners, sex toys were no big deal. A girl’s virginity only mattered if she was of noble birth, e.g. the daughter of a datu whose marriage was intended to forge a political alliance. Some of those sex toys they sell in Malate and Quiapo are traditionally Filipino, and a lot kinkier than many western inventions.

Wouldn’t you like to know what those are for?

Thank you for your kind attention.

Yours Sincerely,
Harlot, Heathen, Hoor of Babylon

I’m at that age where everyone is terribly interested in the contents of my uterus. It’s infuriating that no one seems to think that asking me about my reproductivity (or lack thereof) is intrusive and obnoxious.

It disturbs me that my inquisitors seem to imply that upon reaching a certain age, women should bear children whether they’re ready or not. I’ve repeatedly explained that I’m neither emotionally nor financially prepared for such a responsibility but this does not seem to be a valid reason for remaining childless. I get stupid responses like:

“But babies are so cute!” So are puppies, and they’re cheaper and lower-maintenance.

“Bahala si Lord!” This kind of thinking is responsible for the large impoverished families all over the country. Support the reproductive health bill.

“Kawawa naman parents mo, wala pa silang apo.” Bakit hindi kayo naawa sa aming mag-asawa? Hindi naman yung magulang namin ang magaalaga at magpapaaral sa aming anak. Bakit gusto mong maghirap kami para lang magkaroon sila ng laruan? Bibigyan ko sila ng tuta.

First of all, if and when I choose to have a baby is no one’s business but mine and my husband’s. I’m not the crown princess; my ability to produce an heir is not a matter of national importance. Second, while no one is ever 100% ready to become a parent, 80% is still a lot better than 20% and I’m still in the lower quintile. Third, social conformity is a stupid reason to bring a child into the world (or to do anything, really).

I’m aware that my biological clock is ticking. I understand that childbearing will become increasingly difficult and risky as I get older. I’ve been warned that by the time I finally feel ready to have a child, I may not be able to conceive one.

My husband and I aren’t overly concerned. We figure that if we get to the point where we want to have a child but cannot conceive one, we’ll adopt. When I tell people this they seem shocked, like adoption is not a desirable option. I can’t understand why. We would love an adopted child just as much as we would a biological one. We don’t see how the lack of common DNA would in any way diminish our family.

I received this baffling appeal to voters in my inbox this morning:

DO NOT VOTE FOR A PARTY LIST.

Remember, each party must garner a certain number of votes in order to be able to get one of their nominees seated in Congress. If NO ONE votes for party list, then NO ONE will sit in Congress and we will save that much more money.

Please encourage your friends NOT to vote for party list. Please pass.

This is only an initial study done by Kontra Daya. We’re still looking at another 20 partylist gorups with questionable goals and nominees.

The most notorious and questionable are Ang Galing Pinoy, 1-utak, Ang Kasangga, PACYAW and BIDA.

INITIAL LIST OF PARTYLISTS WITH LINKS TO THE ARROYO ADMINISTRATION by Kontra Daya (March 28, 2010)

LET’S NOT TAKE PART IN THE MOCKERY OF THE PARTY LIST. SOBRA NA ANG PANG LOLOKO SA BAYAN!!!

I don’t understand the logic of the proposal.

Let’s not vote for ANY party list because SOME people have made a mockery of the party list system? One could argue that some people have made a mockery of the entire electoral system. In which case, should we just not vote for anybody AT ALL? The presidential race is a farce! ‘Wag na tayo bumoto ng kahit presidente, kagaguhan rin naman diba?

We shouldn’t vote for ANY party lists because SOME party lists are affiliated with GMA? Here’s a subversive idea: Don’t vote for the shady ones and just vote for the legitimate ones! And why shouldn’t a legitimate party list receive its pork barrel if that pork barrel will be spent for the purposes for which it was intended?

The answer here is not “don’t vote” but rather “vote wisely.”

The party list system exists to ensure that the voices of the marginalized sectors in society are heard in Congress. It’s not a perfect system, and it is exploited by some groups/individuals, but it has its merits. Having party list representatives in Congress expands the democratic space in which people with diverse interests can participate. It introduces to the legislative agenda issues that are normally avoided by the dominant oligarchy.

District representation is based on geography. Party list representation is based on identification with the issues of a particular marginalized sector. Party lists are intended to serve as a counterbalance to traditional political parties, which we all know tend to revolve around personalities, not issues.

This study shows that bills that have been principally sponsored by party list representatives clearly reflect the political and social constituencies from which they came. Party list representatives have proposed numerous bills that would’ve greatly benefited their constituencies, but sadly none of them have been passed into law (an indication of the party list representatives’ lack of political clout). But while they may not have passed any principally-authored bills, they have significantly contributed to legislation as co-authors of laws such as the Clean Air Act.

The party list system needs to be improved and strengthened, not discarded.

This isn’t even the first time a guy has said this to me.

I hate Lost. I’ve been told I should just stop watching and spare myself the mental anguish but I’m the sucker who stuck with X-Files for nine years. I never learn.

I get messaged a lot by random white guys, and you’d think I’d be used to it by now, but they still manage to surprise me. They just keep getting weirder and weirder.

Woman of my dreams,

Do you believe that “reality” can limit has what we perceive, believe today, all the more with the last discoveries of point, like that of astrophysics, of Laurent Nottale for example, by its multivers (universe in onion skins, nests of dolls or parallel universes), or that of the theory of the cords and the great M?

We thus know never what is really possible and impossible. Also, we can be in this existence, as we can already have been it in another, or several other former existences, like being it currently in a parallel universe and to be it still in one or more future lives.

For me, by what I “reached”, that is an obvious truth but it is also field of what Buddhism names Mâyâ (Illusion) , by the wheel of died and the rebirths, and I acted, with many others, so that the whole of “expressed” is released some.

The love is the only guide. It includes the respect, freedom, the tolerance and excludes all negative behavior, like wanting to direct the others or to oblige them in a conditioned sociocultural behavior. The love prevents any domination on the other, like that of the adults on the children. (1) But especially, it is the guide which allows the passage and the guard of the failure, compared to oneself initially then with respect to the others. Then the possibilities come from the truth and freedom.

I am Enz, French painter, sculptor, designer, writer: frontier runner towards the shore. I want the division, without any exclusion, which is of geographical origin, social background, sex, age, generation, mentality, temperament… Each one can bring so much has each one. And it division is richer by the differences.

I must however say to you that, from my existential course, my individuation to reach it to Oneself, to employ the terminology of analytical psychology, or my alchemy “to carry out” the Philosopher’s stone, to speak about the Philosopher’s stone, or Wuxing, according to Chinese Zen, Mushin for Japanese, I am carrying a new ethics which makes all the more inadequate and alienating old morals.

I currently live in a village of France, at two hours of Paris. I also wish to have a residence and a workshop is in the United States, or in China or in a country of Asia, or that of the person with whom I will be accessory in the existence. I seek also the accomplice who could be my partner in my businesses related to my art and my writings.

You can be my wife, but you can also be my partner responsible for the businesses. In effect, I want to develop my activity by creations of great achievements for the companies, the department stores, and will cetera, and in the reproduction of my creations on utility supports (clothing, linen, crockery, pottery, furniture, and will cetera…). I currently seek investors.

I kiss you very pretty Aissa, with the hope which you will become my wife.

Enz

(1) To read “For decoloniser the child”, Gerald MENDEL, ED. Small Payot library)

I don’t even want to know what makes me such a magnet for the rich-white-and-desperate. I’m hoping it’s just because I’m female and I’m from the Philippines, and not because I exude the air of the exotic Angeles City bar girl whom the foreigners tend to fancy. Whatever it is, it’s not flattering.

This guy messages me on Facebook, “Hi, are you an actor?” I inform him that I am no such thing. He informs me that he is. O RLY?

Upon discovering that I am a teacher, he tells me that he’d like my opinion on a film script he’s working on that will focus on “the transnational lives of Filipino’s [sic] from the Philippines to America.” He asks me to “share some past stories that are translatable to the Philippine-American uprooting and settling process or Coming to America Experience.”

I tell him that I have no such experiences, since I’ve never lived in the United States. I’ve traveled there, but America is so familiar to me that I can’t say I underwent any sort of social adjustment or experienced any kind of culture shock. I suspect bullshit, but I’m polite. I even venture to be helpful, on the off chance that he actually is working on such a project. I tell him that he should seek out the Filipino communities in his area (he lives in California) and interview them. A little Internet research/asking around on his part will easily lead him to them. Another way to find them is to go to the Catholic churches and the universities. I give him a bunch of references on migration studies and some other useful information that he isn’t terribly interested in.

It becomes clear that he’s interested in me, not my advice on his alleged research. I ignore all succeeding messages. He repeatedly tries to add me as a friend and I reject the request each time. He can’t seem to take a hint.

Some of the messages I’ve received over the weekend from random white dudes:

1. LET ME BRING YOU TO THE STATES AND LIVE THE EASY LIFE WITH ME!
   His profile reads: i am 44yrs old whith blue eyes and lite browm hair.i am 5’8 and averadge to stocky build. I like sports,a great thick stake, cold beer on a hot day,the beach at night.bbq’s with friends allways a good time
2. you are my kind of woman… i am coming… to manila is three months. i have a lovely flower there already, lik you, but maybe we can all do a switcheroo…
3. This last guy is an an American living in the Philippines. I exchanged a few messages with him because he seemed semi-interesting and he wasn’t looking to hook up or whatever. He just wanted to talk about social and political issues.

But after a while he started to get annoying, accusing me of being “a member of the jaded, condescending Pinoy elites” who lacked “Pinoy-populist credentials” and boasting about his …insane loathing of Greenbelt; my preference for riding the MRT, jeeps and buses over cabs and chauffeured vehicles; or the fact that my greatest experiences in the Philippines were in Bicol, using jeepneys to hop between churches, volcanoes and rainforests, and ending each day with the best damn turo-turo ever.I told him that I’m unapologetic about my “elite/elitist background,” and I think that adopting “masa” affectations when I come from an upper middle class family and was educated at expensive private schools would be absurdly pretentious. One doesn’t require “populist credentials” to be concerned about the plight of the masses, to see oneself as part of a larger social fabric, and to feel a sense of responsibility towards one’s nation and one’s people.

He sent me a few more messages saying he wanted to meet up and get to know me better, which I ignored. His last message read, you’re so conyo and you served the most corrupt regime in the history of Southeast Asia

I replied, If “conyo” means I’m comfortable with my upper middle class background, then so be it. Taking public transport and eating street food doesn’t make you one with the masses and you need to get over your ridiculous bourgeoisie guilt instead of trying to drag down other people with you.You should instead take the time you’ve been using to obsess over me to brush up on your history, so that next time you can make a factual claim about Southeast Asian regimes. Also, corrupt or not, all governments need civil servants to accomplish various tasks necessary for the survival of the country. Administrators, accountants, lawyers, policy analysts, clerks etc. need to do their jobs regardless of who’s in power, because ordinary citizens need licenses, permits, and a variety of social services. A state is not anthropomorphic and cannot be equated to its chief executive.

I have no time or patience for your nonsense. Please don’t contact me again.

Sutla Whitening Cream with Papaya Extract

Random YM Dude: labas tayo
Me: no thanks
Random YM Dude: y
Me: just not interested
Random YM Dude: maybe ur gay
Me: you’re not my type
Random YM Dude: u havent met me
Random YM Dude: hw can u say that
Random YM Dude: dis is chat
Random YM Dude: u dnt even know hw genuine
Random YM Dude: m from ateeno
Random YM Dude: dats part of our values formation
Random YM Dude: u just dnt knw me
Me: and i don’t want to get to know you
Random YM Dude: watever
Random YM Dude: its nOT MY LOST ANYWAY
Me: you mean your LOSS, not LOST
Random YM Dude: no
Random YM Dude: its past tense na

And all this time I was under the impression that only verbs have tenses. Apparently nouns and adjectives have them too.